i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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