Non-Jews are for practice
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
His hands were made for my vagina.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
