woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
