CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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