she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
