dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
