wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's rum buckets o'clock
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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