You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
This show inspires me to have sex in space
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
