i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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