Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
