Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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