We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
