google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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