my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just cropdusted the office
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
