his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
