Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
