So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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