I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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