This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
