no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
