the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
