You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
This baby is an asshole
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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