I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
