I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
