I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
