Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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