im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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