The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
