i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
