New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
