she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
