I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Barsexuality is the new black.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
