I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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