dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
