I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
