I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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