if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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