we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
