i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
