All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
