that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
