I will die if light touches me.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
