She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
