I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
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