I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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