So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
