I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I need to sanitize my soul.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
