I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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