You're my little dorito
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
