I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
