i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
