My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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