I faked an abortion last night.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
