remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
only if we run a train.
done.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
