Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
